I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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