Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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