he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
