you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
