I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
