Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
