i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
