Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
