If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
