he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
