Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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