i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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