Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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