Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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