You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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