On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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