Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
