normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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