i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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