they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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