May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
