Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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