Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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