There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
