never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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