So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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