So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
