the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
