Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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