your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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