And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
