Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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