I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
