I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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