Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i dont even know how to be here
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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