yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
