Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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