Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
