Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
