The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
