Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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