she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
