I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
