yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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