Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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