i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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