I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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