32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
