Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
