He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
