Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
