I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
