its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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