Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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