ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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