If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize