I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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