TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
